I'll miss you buddy.
A Letter to Brave Yet Foolish Men
By Courtney Martin
Senators, you are brave men this is true.
I do wonder if you know what you’re
getting yourselves into.
I write to you from an uncomfortable place.
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue no longer
puts a smile on my face.
I came from Texas, born and bred,
not knowing how many men’s egos
needed to be fed.
I truly thought I knew what I was doin’,
but no one realizes Dick’s the person
you all should be booin’.
If I could give either of you any advice
I would say give up now, ‘cause
the press is never nice.
John you’re an old friend, dear to me
I beg of you please don’t use
any of my “strategery!”
Mister Obama, listen to me please!
This country needs more oil,
who cares about the trees!
But Barack your policies are so grave!
Asking the middle class to fund your
programs? How brave..
Times, they are so tough, I know it’s hard.
But quit that protestin’! Won’t you
get outta my yard!
I wanna warn you, either of you
If you sit in this chair it won’t matter
what you want to do.
I admit I’m not real sharp, like a fox..
but, uh, at least I didn’t suggest
using a lock box.
I got us into some trouble, a time or two
but everyone was asking me, “George
what will ya do?”
It’s hard being President, take my word.
Unless you’re a Clinton they make
you feel so absurd.
They’ll tell you your plans aren’t good
I’ve never received criticism that
couldn’t be withstood.
Don’t worry about those never statisfied by you
They’ll crucify you on the TV but if you’re lucky
Will Farrell will “do” you too.
If you mess up big enough history will forgive me.
I pray you have more control in the White House
unlike my many follies.
With one final warning I bid you Adieu
Don’t take this job! It only
messes with you.
I’ll say good luck in your quest.
Get this election over with.
LET ME REST!
